I
have been a Christian since 1988. I didn't
like morning service but I liked church
functions,
such as birthday parties, charity functions
or camping, so on and off, I went to church.
I had a decent job with a good salary
and a good boyfriend. I loved my job and
I worked very hard. I was busy all the
time, a 24-hour day seemed too short to
me. However, I had this experience inside
me, I couldn't sleep and had lots of bad
dreams. Something also happened to me
in my business life, I was shattered and
suffered very badly.
I
got married in July 1998 and my husband
loves me very much. I thought my husband's
love could overcome my pain, but I still
had bad dreams and was disturbed. I couldn't
get the bad dreams out of my mind. Dreams
mainly about my mother and I having big
arguments, I felt that my mother didn't
love me, she was unfair to me and I didn't
have any freedom when I was growing up;
she did not like to go out and she would
not allow me to go out either except to
and from school. My sad childhood memories
and my anger were always in my mind. I
realized even my husband's love could
not gloss over my pain. Then I went back
to church because I thought maybe God
could heal me. It didn't solve my problem
when I attended morning services and most
of the time I dozed off. One day I received
a newsletter and learned about an Alpha
course and I attended the Alpha Supper.
I felt comfortable and relaxed with the
care and love I received. I was interested
in some topics. I figured that they might
help get rid of my bad dreams and the
sadness in my heart.
During
the course, God told me to forgive my
mother. From the fifth lesson - 'Why and
how do we pray?', and the other lessons
about the Holy Spirit. God opened my heart
to listen to His words and I confessed
the wrong things I did and asked God to
change my heart. I wanted to read the
Bible again. . I was, in fact, looking
forward to Monday's Alpha sessions then.
A month later, I wrote a letter to my
parents to share my feelings and thanked
them for their love. I started going back
home to visit them once a week. I tried
to communicate with my mother and she
seemed to change a bit every time and
she talked to me with a more friendly
voice. I had my baptism on 25th of April
2000; I really wanted to invite my parents
but they are non-churchgoing Chinese.
I did not think that they would come;
but I still prayed and asked my Christian
brothers and sisters to pray for me. Thank
God, He didn't let me down. My parents,
auntie, my cousin and other friends all
turned up. My husband and I became members
of Union Church that day. I was surprised
that my mother even joined our celebration
party afterwards. Our relationship is
getting better now.
I
want to testify to people that God is
love, He is so real, He understands our
pain, and His healing power is great,
beyond our imagination. I hope all of
you can attend an Alpha course to receive
God's love and get close to Him.