Too much has happened in the past 3 months, I would like to share my experience with you. My story begins from the dinner on Feb 14th. I don't remember why, but the dinner conversation somehow landed on the topic of 'life after death'. I do, however, remember saying that there was nothing after death, because I believed that when the spirit leaves the body, the body decomposes and that's it. One of my friends at that dinner asked me how then I could consider myself a Christian while missing the basic cornerstone of Christianity which promised eternal life after death if I believed in Jesus. After that dinner I began wondering whether I had been an incomplete Christian all that time because I had overlooked something major in my 'faith'. I seemed to have completely forgotten why I was baptized at the age of 16, because when I asked myself whether the fact that Jesus died on the cross for my sins had any meaning to me, I had to admit that the answer was no.

That was a wake-up call.

Four days later on Feb 18th, a relative emailed me asking whether I could take her recently-widowed mother to an Alpha course, and if so, to find out where and when such a program would begin. I phoned my friend, and learned that there was an Alpha course that would begin just within that week. What a coincidence, I thought to myself. But when I invited my aunt to attend, she said she did not want to go, because she was still in her mourning period. Since she wasn't going, I phoned my friend that I would not be going as well, because I had only enquired about the course for my aunt.

Another four days later on Feb 22nd, the day before Alpha was to begin, God was working on me. He made me think that even if my aunt wasn't going, I could still give Alpha a shot. "What's wrong with going alone?" the thought came into my head. To make a long story short, when this Christian friend of mine, who lives quite near to me, agreed to ride home with me after each session, I could not think of another excuse not to go.

I ended up attending all the 15 Alpha meetings without missing once. I enjoyed watching Nicky Gumbel's videos, and participating in the group discussions afterwards. I bonded with my group members and have learned to trust them when I shared my stories. At every meeting I was able to find answers to questions regarding my search.

The 8th meeting in the middle of the course was called the Alpha weekend - we met in a youth camp in Shatin for the whole weekend instead for just a few hours at this regular location. I was lazy and did not want to re-arrange my schedule, so I told my group leader that I was not going. But the night before the Alpha weekend, God was again working in my heart. I wanted to skip the Alpha retreat to avoid changing my weekend schedule which involved my son's activities. After I prayed to ask God for his permission not to go, I randomly opened the Bible for His answer, and somehow, my eyes zoomed in on three words on that opened page, and it read "Get yourself ready!" The rest of the page seemed blurred, only those 3 words jumped at me. When I saw that, I closed the Bible in awe. I then picked up the phone to let my Alpha leader know that I had changed my mind.

The retreat went as expected. We watched 3 of Nicky Gumbel's videos about the Holy Spirit, followed by group discussions. There was a spiritual ministry at the end. I prayed to God quietly in my seat, asking Him to forgive my sins, and to fill me with the Holy Spirit. I soon felt a tingling sensation, sweeping me like a 'scanner' from my feet all the way up to my finger tips. I was being touched by the Holy Spirit. Two brothers came over to pray with me one after the other; both told me that they had a message for me from God. The first one told me that God would stop all my tears and heal all my hurt. The second one told me that God loved me even before I was born. He knew how many hairs I had on my head; He had a plan for me and my family, He asked me to have no fear, and told me to 'come home'. I knelt on the floor in awe when the Lord spoke.

When I went home that night, I continued to pray. It was then that the Holy Spirit filled me and blessed me with the gift of praying in tongues. I thank God for the gift; it has dramatically boosted my faith. When I was still praying, God then showed me a vision to set me free from my hygiene obsession, a bondage that had enslaved me in my daily living. I use to demand perfect cleanliness down to microscopic details. I know it sounds too easy now, but when God softened my heart, that's just how it happened - after seeing the vision, I knew that God wanted to set me free from this bondage, to not sweat the small stuff anymore, and to focus on His cleansing power on me instead. The desire for perfection still pops up, but now, rather than demanding perfection in other people or things, the desire is for me to be perfect in the eyes of the Lord.

I was praying earnestly for the right words to share my experience with my non-believing husband. Instead of giving me those words, the Lord answered me by leading me to a passage in 1 Peter 3: 1-6. He said I did not need to use any words. He told me that I could soften my husband's heart not by words but by my changed behaviour. When he sees my change, then the Lord Jesus will be glorified. I pray that my husband will come to know the Lord one day.

Sometimes, as Christians, we find ourselves caught in spiritual war-fares. It happened to me after I walked close to the Lord. For the first time ever in my son's 9 years of life, he could not fall sleep until midnight. I knew it was not a coincidence. The enemy was trying to get to me through my beloved son. His insomnia continued for no particular reason for the rest of that week. I finally thought of a way out. One night when my son was again tossing and turning until midnight, I turned on his bedside lamp and asked him to get up. In order that the enemy could hear what I was about to do, I said, "Son, from now on, every night that you cannot fall asleep, I will read biblical stories to you until you fall asleep. The more often you cannot sleep, the sooner you will come to know the Lord!" That night I told him the story about God's fallen angels and the Satan's role on earth. He was very interested and asked a lot of questions before he fell asleep. But the strangest thing was that he never experienced insomnia anymore after that night. I give the glory back to our Lord for winning this spiritual war.

Two weeks ago, I had an encounter with God. God spoke to me through the Holy Spirit. He said, "Jesus Christ wants to be your best friend!" I was already in bed and the lights were already out, so when I heard that, I said to myself, "What?" And the same sentence was repeated to me again word for word. I knew that it was the Lord speaking to me. I smiled the warmest smile, and replied, "Thank you; I too want Jesus Christ to be my best friend!" It was a heart-warming encounter. I think God is wasting no time in pursuing me and building me up.

In the last meeting of Alpha, Nicky Gumbel talked about the primary ambition in the life of a Christian. It is very clear to me now that my primary ambition is to cultivate a love relationship with God. I read the Bible every day. In addition to praying for my own needs, I now include the needs of others in my daily prayers. I allocate a quiet time each day for Him and I enjoy the personal connection. I need to submit and trust God totally and let Him mould me and complete the transformation in me.

I would like my testimony to encourage everyone that our God is real, and that we do not need to be in a state of crisis before we reach out to the Lord. When He revealed Himself to me, I was humbled by the power of His love for me. And because of His love, I am able to undergo internal healing. I am now convinced of the meaning of the resurrection of Jesus, and have experienced His presence through the Holy Spirit. God has performed a series of miracles and wonders for me within such a short period. He works in wondrous ways. I give all glories back to Him.

Julie Sung, FCC